HUGE catch up!

Thank goodness for DVR's. I have only a few shows that I watch on a regular basis. I usually settle in to bed around 9:30 every evening with my husband and we pick a show to watch after we've had a chat about our respective days, the kids, and all the other things couples talk about.

This past week we had a marathon HUGE make-up session. I've been traveling to meetings and spending a lot of time writing grants and preparing for our annual conference, which will be in Arizona on March 31-April 2, 2011 so I was happy to get caught up.

During my HUGE marathon, I caught myself crying several times. Some of the tears were because I could relate to the feelings of the characters and some were out of pride. The pride is what caught me off-guard. It sparked a realization that the rebellion I so proudly engaged in during my teen years was self-protective.

I see this same quality in several of the characters on HUGE. They are engaging in life and questioning the adults in their lives like most teenagers do. The extra layer here is that some of the "out there" rebellion is a coping mechanism that allows them to deal with the shame many feel around their body size. Will is the epitome of this and I feel a sense of pride every time she sticks up for herself or bucks the system--it feels almost personal.

Of course, this rebellion and hard exterior does not allow for healthy relationships, exactly what is necessary to overcome an eating disorder, disordered eating, or poor self-esteem/body image. 

This said, I believe that those of us who embrace our "inner rebel" are able to stick up for ourselves and eventually, once we break down the resistance to change, are able to go on to advocate for others.

I am not saying that Will's anger is healthy, but I am saying that her spirit should not be broken and I can't wait to see where she ends up. I firmly believe she will be the one advocating for others once she learns how to deal with herself.