How could I not be? I've spent over 35 years shielding myself from teasing, bullying, and weight bias. I was an overweight kid who hid food and ate large quantities in secret to cope with family strife and everyday life. By the time I was a teenager, I was in the full throes of a severe eating disorder (binge eating disorder) and did everything I could to disengage and hide my fat body. The shame was deep and painful, and yet the food was an essential tool in my attempt to protect myself from the chaos around me.
My suspicion is based in fear. Fear for the millions of individuals who suffer and die as a result of an eating disorder. Fear for the millions of overweight kids who can be exploited in the name of profit. Fear of the emotions that may surface as I watch bias, similar to that which I experienced, play out on national television.
After all, the daily experience for people of size is much like being knocked to the ground repeatedly and then told to stand up straight with one's dignity fully in tact. As a society, we claim to want the best for an individuals health and yet we continually beat them over the head with blame, shame, and massive doses of guilt about how much it will cost to take care of their health conditions if they are fat. Would we take this same approach with cancer or alcoholism?
I became more optimistic about HUGE as I thought about the possibility of a variety of shapes and sizes being represented on national television and the possibility of a national dialogue taking place that could, just maybe, help those who make moral judgements about "fat" understand that the psychological and social implications of their judgements are the cornerstone of the "condition" for many overweight or obese individuals. Without these judgements, we may be able to provide an environment that will allow people to eat what their bodies need without using food to fill voids created by shame.
Through my own journey with binge eating disorder I have learned to embrace a life that is no longer laden with self-hatred and poor self-esteem. I accept myself where I am today and engage in life. I am proud of who I am and no longer view myself primarily through the lens of my size. This is what I hope will be portrayed ultimately in HUGE.
I'll be watching on Monday. I hope you will join me and share your thoughts.
*****************************************************************************
I am proudly a member of The Actionist Network® a community of professionals committed to creating a nation of confident women and girls! For more information check out www.jessweiner.com/actionist.
Check out the HUGE conversation guide at http://www.jessweiner.com/huge-conversation-guide-by-jess-weiner/
I had similar fears...but still anticipate it's premier.
ReplyDelete"I became more optimistic about HUGE as I thought about the possibility of a variety of shapes and sizes being represented on national television and the possibility of a national dialogue taking place that could, just ... See Moremaybe, help those who make moral judgements about "fat" understand that the psychological and social implications of their judgements are the cornerstone of the "condition" for many overweight or obese individuals."
^ This is one of my dreams! ^0^
This post on Feministing has made me a little more optimistic: http://www.feministing.com/archives/021620.html
I'll be watching!