I've been ready many of the reviews of HUGE and the online chatter. It is an interesting mix of disdain and cheering.
I'm wondering about the disdain and where it is coming from.
One of the things that really stuck out for me last night and gave me food for thought this morning was the fact that the fat kids in the fat camp are weight-biased. Within a sea of overweight and obese kids there is a pecking order according to how fat the individual is. They treated one another exactly as the rest of the world treats them...badly.
If within the ranks of those who are considered "fat" there is weight-bias then how are we supposed to take a message of acceptance out to the rest of society? How are we supposed to focus on our health and take the steps necessary to treat our bodies with kindness? How are we supposed to make healthy food choices and engage in movement when we are constantly depressed, anxious, and saddened by the way we look? Making healthy decisions about how to treat our bodies takes energy, time, and compassion. We will never accomplish this if we are constantly berating ourselves and others--negative energy is exhausting.
Weight-bias is pervasive and I recall at the height of my own self-hatred I made sure to never surround myself with fat people. All of my friends were thin and beautiful. I conciously thought about who my friends were according to how they looked. Surely, if all of these thin people were my friends the remainder of society would like me and consider me the exceptional fat girl...the one and only who was good enough to hang around with "normal" people.
Wow--I actually admitted that. Feels good!
I can relate to having my own fat bias. I used to not make friends with other fat people. I am happy to say that I have long been over that!
ReplyDeleteWell, it's a TV show. I went to fat camp. Granted it was 30 years ago, but I don't think anyone was more sensitive back then. That pecking order did actually exist, though it was not nearly as overt. Also, the reasons were slightly different. We were all there to "accomplish something," and being thinner meant we were successful. Success is attractive. Also looks counted, in the sense that the pretty blond was popular than too. She wasn't the thinnest girl though. There was more of an even playing field as far as size went. But there wasn't as far as coolness and popularity, and all those other things people rank each other on. This is such a complicated issue, bias around fat is just the tip of the iceberg.
ReplyDeleteBut as to the question you pose: how are we supposed to love ourselves? Good question.
Prejudices of all kinds have so much in common. I am constantly reminded of racism and race prejudice as I encounter size bias. The saddest part of any prejudice is when the kind we internalize. When it comes from others we can put it in perspective but when it comes from within it is heart-breakingly difficult to shake off.
ReplyDeleteWe have much to learn from the way society has evolved away from the raw racism of the past. It took time and it took WORK and no little bravery on the part of activists - you are doing that work. THANK YOU!!